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| Tabitha Grace Monday, December 30th 2:30pm 7lbs 13oz 20 inches |
To my little Tabitha Grace,
Well certainly you had the grace to come swiftly as your
name, dear little gazelle! We didn’t know if you’d be a boy or a girl, but your
name has been on my heart for many months now, and I’m glad it’s you who shall
bear it. The Lord gave me your name, and I do hope and pray you shall possess
the gift of His grace, the beauty of a gazelle, and that you will be like good Dorcas
(Tabitha) of the New Testament.
This, dear one, is the story of the day you came into the
world. And you did indeed come quickly!
The night before, your father and I talked for a long time,
because I was impatient and uncomfortable and fretting over when you would
come. He comforted me and prayed for me and you. I had not had many pre-labor
contractions in the two weeks leading up to your birth day (one of the reasons
I was anxious – I figured there would be more work to do once labor began!) But
as soon as the last word of prayer left his lips that night, I did have a
contraction and had cramps until I fell asleep.
Zach woke me up at the usual time – 7:00am – asking for “mils” (milk) as he
usually does. I started feeling crampy again and by 8:00am I started having
little contractions. I still didn’t know if today was the day, since the
contractions were too short to be useful (most were less than 45 seconds) and
too erratic – anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes apart. I spent the morning walking
around and doing chores – folding the laundry so I could pack Zach and Cora’s
clothing for the Big House, putting the extra sheets on the bed just in case, double-checking
all the birth supplies, and making a new potato soup recipe. I even told your
Papa that the sheet the midwife had given me, “What to Do if the Baby Comes
Before the Midwife Arrives,” was laid on top of all the birth supplies in the
drawer.
I still wasn’t willing to call it real labor, but I kept the
midwife and Aunt Emma and Aunt Bekah and of course your Papa updated. I
continued to feel crampy and had more contractions if I stood up and stayed
active, but none that settled into a pattern or lasted more than 45 seconds. I
figured it was following Cora’s pattern (I woke up at 5:00am and felt crampy,
had decent contractions if I walked that subdued if I rested, but I wasn’t sure
it was “the day” until 1:30pm. She was born right before 6:00pm.) So I
calculated that even if it was a shorter labor altogether – since I started
later this time, at 8:00am – I would be sure sometime after lunch, and you’d be
born a few hours later.
The midwife wanted me to lay down and rest (and I wanted to
as well) so as soon as I finished the soup (and ate a bowlful – so tasty!) I
did. It was getting toward 1:00pm. Papa had gone out to exercise a while
before, after Zach and Cora had started their naps. Cora had been napping in
the master bedroom and woke just I laid down, so I texted Papa to come and get
her. He was halfway through his workout, all sweaty, but he came to watch Cora
while I tried to sleep.
I did fall asleep for ten blissful minutes, until a
monstrous contraction woke me up. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me at the
time, but it must have been the beginning of transition. I tried to fall asleep
again, but I was afraid of the next contraction, how bad it would be and when
it would come. I prayed and tried to calm down, knowing that a decent nap would
help if I had several hours more to go. Twelve minutes later, another huge
contraction – which I timed to be 90 seconds – that peaked twice, much to my
discomfort. I recited the entirety of Psalm 23 through it, pleading with every
breath for God’s grace to bear it and the fear that was threatening to wash
through me. I do not like pain, and especially don’t like knowing that greater
pain is coming. Those contractions were just under what I could bear and that only
by God’s grace.
I did not sleep any more, but I did stay laying down for
another ten minutes, through the third giant contraction – and then decided to
get up and brush my teeth (just in case this was it – I didn’t want to be
breathing foul odors on my birth helpers) and went to the bathroom in case a
full bladder was why the contractions were so rough.
It felt cold in the bedroom, and I was chilled (looking
back, I’m sure it was the hormonal change that happens in transition), so I
went to the living room, where Papa was watching Cora, and opened up the
woodstove. I upped the thermostat, too – to something ridiculous like 77
degrees – and told John Paul I was cold. But then contractions started. Good,
long ones – the kind I had to lean over the kitchen table and breathe very
carefully to get through. I asked John Paul to get the children over to the Big
House, and to call the doula to help me manage the pain. He asked me if he
should call the midwife, too, and I couldn’t answer him. He called everyone
then, while I had contraction after contraction, leaning against the kitchen counter,
with hardly any breaks between. After about five of these, I told him I thought
things were getting pretty serious. A few more and I told him I thought it
could be transition, because it was progressing very fast and the contractions
simply weren’t letting up. It was a little after 2:00pm.
By now I thought the kitchen was sweltering hot and the pain
was nearly continuous. In a slight ebb, I asked John Paul to fill the tub (I
think all I managed was “Tub!”) and he sprinted down the hall. I started to
feel that particular bulging sort of feeling and knew things really were
serious. John Paul appeared at my side and helped me down the hall to the bed.
I began sounding out with the contractions even before I got to the bedroom
(Grandpa was still rounding up Zach and Cora and was very concerned!) John
Paul disappeared again, to help Grandpa
finish collecting the children. I was still fully clothed, so I was trying to
undress while laying down on the bed (through the contractions!) John Paul
returned, saw what I was up to, and helped me finish. He said he realized it
was going to be soon if I was pulling off clothes! I told him I might feel like
pushing soon and he continued to run to get or do things – washing his hands,
getting the drawer of supplies, pulling back the quilt. I continued to have
hard, long contractions one after another (I can only remember three small breaks
before you were born!) and the bulgy feeling got more intense and I wanted to
push.
Your Papa was a calm, capable hero in the midst of all this.
He managed to get everything he needed in time and then came to hold my leg
while I pushed. He was so calm and encouraging. His excitement was infectious (and
full of adrenaline, he told me later!) and helped me not to fear but to look
forward to your arrival. At one point he wanted to turn off the tub, since it
was still running, but I begged him not to leave as I knew it wasn’t going to
be much longer and I didn’t want him letting go of me.
The water broke during the first good pushing contraction,
and at a break in the contractions your Papa deftly changed out the chux pads
he had spread under me in readiness. It wasn’t long until your head crowned and
came into the world. Papa wiped it off and cleaned out your nose and mouth as I
held both your head and his hand. On the next push he helped you slide your
shoulders out and there you were! He laid you on my belly as he rubbed you down
and kept cleaning out your airways. You weren’t very loud and we kept having to
check to make sure you were breathing – but you were! You just wanted to go
right to sleep next to Mama. I asked Papa the time and he said it was 2:29pm.
He didn’t even think to see if you were a boy or girl until a few moments after
you were born, we were so shocked by the rapidity of it and the sense of
urgency to get you clean and make sure you were alive and well! You couldn’t
have been more perfect. You cried when we tried to shift you (you loved Mama’s
warm skin!) to see if you were a boy or a girl and you pinked up very quickly. Grandma
came in shortly after you were born, and she suctioned your nose a little bit
more and made sure that our colors were good. The midwife and doula arrived in a
few more minutes, around 2:45pm and took care of me and you. You nursed and
slept on me while they cut the cord and helped with the afterbirth. Then it was
your turn, and you passed all the tests with flying colors. They recorded your
weight and measurements and then handed you off to Papa so I could take a
shower. I was so thirsty afterward! But it was over and you were finally here!
It was so intense and so fast that no one made it here in
time, but there was just enough time for your Papa to get what he needed to
deliver you. God works in mysterious ways! We are so glad you are here and in
our arms. God has richly blessed us!
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